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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Ordered Steps

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I have asked God to please order my steps. I've asked on countless occasions in the last 6-9 months. What I failed to do, though, was 1) be still and listen to His instructions and 2) actually let Him do that. That was true until about 2 weeks ago.

Since February 2, I've dated a really wonderful man. And since February 3, I've known that I did not ever want to date anyone else. It felt, at the same time, completely natural and altogether frightening. But I'd heard God's voice loudly - not as a whisper; as a shout. This was the man He was preparing me for. And meanwhile, He was preparing this man for me. It's hard to ignore God when He shouts at you.

What I had begun to do, though, was to ignore the whisper. God would subtly drop a hint about a thing I should do or not do, say or not say - and although I thought I heard Him, (sometimes I KNEW I heard Him) I was not being obedient. Then the messages came a little louder and closer together. And I was still being stubborn. Then all of a sudden - not really all of a sudden since I'd had so many warning - things came crashing down around me all at once.

I could hear God clear as an October day, "Why are you making me shout? I was really trying not to shout at you." And not only did He shout at me, He was using my children and this man whom I've fallen in love with to do it. My children - literally - shouted. This man who I love makes a practice of not shouting, but he was extremely direct in telling me the things I most needed to hear. He spoke using God's voice.

Well since then, approximately 3 weeks have passed. I've got some clear directives from God about where He wants me to go - places I've wanted to take myself - but now I'm letting God drive. Since I moved over into the passenger seat, I can still see where we're headed, but I'm no longer in control. I go when He says go; stop when He says stop. There are consequences for trying to take the wheel from the driver, and I know that. So, like I tell my daughters - we will ride until the car stops. True-be-told, I like the view from the passenger side and I'm a lot less stressed.

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